Do you say yes to everything?  Are you uncomfortable saying no?  Whether it's helping a friend move, going to a birthday party or planning a bridal shower- do you feel like you have to say yes?  Saying no is uncomfortable.  But we can't always say yes.  The holidays are coming and bringing a million potential to-do's.  If you say yes to every party, every gift buying, every shopping trip and every event, you will be too exhausted to enjoy yourself.  Here are 5 times when you can say no.

1. You want to say no.       

Seriously- that simple.  Maybe you have too much going on.  You’re already working, volunteering and studying so much that you just can’t fit in one more thing this week.  Or you need a break and to recharge with some close friends.  Or you want a night in with a good book and a blanket.  Whatever the reason, you have the “right” to say “no” without explanation.  You have a right and a responsibility to take care of yourself.

 2. The request doesn’t match your goals, purpose or passion.

You only have so many hours and so many days.  No one has forever.  What do you want in life?  What's God's plan for you?  What’s important to you?  Family, friends, your future?  What do you enjoy?  What energizes you?  Sometimes we do things we don’t enjoy- like dinner at grandma’s, but we do it because it matches our family goals.  

3. You’re exhausted.

Exhaustion is a sign that you are pushing yourself too much in too many different directions.  Look at your calendar- what does not fulfill you?  Are there things that don’t match your goals and passion?  Saying no to certain things will make room for you to say yes to what energizes you.

4. It’s unsafe or dangerous

Sometimes something is unsafe or illegal, but girls don’t feel like they can say no because they don't want to be a bad friend.  Not helping or agreeing could mean losing a friend or offending a family member.  However- a true friend or a true loving family member wouldn’t ask you to put yourself in harm’s way.  Protect yourself.

5. You’re trying to make someone else happy

Girls have this crazy belief that we control other people’s emotions.  We say yes to “make” someone happy because if we say no, then we will “make” someone upset.  Or we hesitate to say no because it’s uncomfortable and we don’t want to disappoint someone.  When you stop thinking everyone’s feelings depend on you, you will feel less overwhelmed and much happier.

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About the Author

kristenhodges

Kristen lives in Florida with her awesome husband and 3 energetic kids. She earned a graduate degree in Clinical Psychology from the University of Michigan and is a psychology professor at a local university. In her free time, she hangs out with family and friends, volunteers at her church and laughs as much as possible. She has a passion for Jesus, helping others and anything chocolate. Follow her on instagram @kristen_hodges_cg