Not having a father causes unimaginable pain (see the original article on Fatherless Daughters). Whether you never knew your father at all or something happened along the way, girls in this club know the pain and embarrassment of admitting "I don't have a dad." For those belonging to this forsaken club, here are three ways to move past the pain.
How you see yourself depends on how people treated you when you were little. Those people were most likely your relatives. How they treated you as a child mattered in determining how you see yourself, your worth, and how you think others see you. Unfortunately, people have issues and having kids doesn't fix anything. Rather, parents pass problems onto their kids.
Your dad rejecting you matters when you try to understand your worth. Likely, this isn’t the only offense. Did he miss important events? Criticize you? Seemed too busy with work or never came around at all? This is not your fault. This is about him, not you. If your father doesn’t fill the father role, then he has issues. Your dad choosing to not have a relationship with you isn’t about you. You can’t make him choose to stay away any more than you can force him to spend time with you.
While there is pain in not being able to list “daughter of…” as one of your labels - there is also freedom. You no longer have to accept how your father defined you. His choices no longer determine your worth. You now get to define yourself. Who are you? What are your strengths? What does God say about you? What do your friends appreciate about you? What are your goals in life? What do you want to learn? What are your passions? What is your purpose in life?
Redefine your life
What’s the purpose of your life? I promise you were not created with the sole purpose of trying to get (any) man’s attention. Find what excites you, your interests, your dreams and your desires. Your purpose and your passion will lie in this; a moment will strike with the realization that this is why God created you. If you aren't excited about something than you are missing out on what God has for you.
Redefine your future
When you accept that you are lovable and worthy of being treated with respect by others, you will make healthier choices for yourself. You will surround yourself with people who love you, accept you and pray for you. You will pick hobbies and career paths that you enjoy. You will voice your opinions. You will transform into the best possible you – because you will let go of the voice in the back of your head telling you that you’re not good enough. You will let go of the voice that says no one will like the real you. You will let go of the fear of being rejected. You will see what your friends see- a wonderful girl with unique, amazing qualities. You will find the purpose God has for you. And then- you will be passionate about life. You will be excited about your future.
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